piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
