Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
