I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I party with great urgency now.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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