Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you will always have a special place in my vag
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
