There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
All I want is dick and wine.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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