This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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