I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
