friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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