I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
