Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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