Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
