dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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