I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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