my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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