So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
