i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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