my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
