I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize