Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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