yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
