Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I want her autograph on my taint
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
