so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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