scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
