he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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