New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
