Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
