I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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