Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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