Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
