i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
