Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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