I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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