rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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