Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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