Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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