She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
