I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
