I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
