it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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