there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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