I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
