Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize