I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
