Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
