We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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