if you like me you must not know who I am
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
