no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
