I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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