I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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