you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
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who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
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conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize