Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
