Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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