We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
