is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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