And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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