the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
