i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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