what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize