jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
