god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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