All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
