i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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