Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
