I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
