PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
