It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
